1. How did you learn about Life Hope Network

A year ago, I got pregnant and had an abortion. When I found I was pregnant again, I didn’t want to have another abortion, but I also knew that I couldn’t raise the child myself. While I was looking at a magazine, I saw an article about adoption. So, I looked up adoption on the internet and found LHN.

2. What was your first impression when you contacted LHN?

I first contacted LHN by e-mail. I received an immediate reply and I felt that the counselor understood my situation. So I called and talked back and forth a few times, and we agreed on a homestay. I was afraid to call LHN at first because I thought they would blame me and be harsh with me. But instead, my counselor understood my feelings and said that my decision to protect my baby was wonderful. I was very relieved. At the end of the call, she prayed with me, which I appreciated, and I was so glad I had called!

3. Why did you decide to do a homestay?

I was living with my boyfriend, but our relationship was getting worse. I didn’t feel I could have my baby in that situation. I also knew that I couldn’t return to my parents’ home. After becoming pregnant, my emotions were up and down and I had morning sickness, so I had to quit my job. And I didn’t have much savings. My counselor told me I would need only $100/month, plus food, and she explained things very kindly, so I felt relieved. I thought my only choice was to live at LHN.

4. How is your daily life at LHN?

I’ve lived here for two months, and I’m very satisfied. I enjoy watching videos, reading books and singing with Micah (Cynthia’s son). Playing with him makes me happy. Everyday, neighbors, friends and LHN staff come and we talk and it’s fun. On Sundays, we go to church together. It’s the first time I have gone to church. Unlike my image, the atmosphere is fun; we sing; and the pastor’s message is helpful, so I like it. After the service, we talk and pray together. This has helped broaden my thinking.
Dinner time is fun every evening. I make Japanese food. Cynthia makes various delicious things, like homemade bread, pizza, salad and soup. I eat a lot of vegetables here. Even though I eat a lot here, only my baby has gained weight, not me. It’s because I’m living a healthy lifestyle and eating good meals.

5. What are you thinking about now?

My baby is due to be born in there days so I’m nervous. I just want a safe birth and for my baby to be healthy. I can’t raise my baby, but I hope her adopting parents will love her and raise her to be happy. Her parents had to pass difficult interviews to become parents. I want to live in a way that would make my baby proud, even if I never meet her.

Questions after the baby’s birth:

6. What do you think about giving birth and about the adoption?

My baby was born on her due date. I talked to my boy friend just before the baby was born. I told him since I had decided to give birth, I needed to just get through this pain and do it. The people with me, such as the hospital staff and Cynthia, encouraged me. I have to say it was the worse pain of my life, but when I heard the baby’s voice, I was very happy. I was so relieved to know that the baby was healthy and crying very loudly. I was so happy to spend two and half hours holding the baby. My baby was so cute, blinking her eyes and sucking her fingers. I was so thankful for that time with her. Then, I went to my room, and she went to the babies’ room.
Many people came to the hospital to see the baby and me. Before the baby was born, while I was living with Cynthia, my baby must have felt loved by everyone. While in the hospital when I would go to see the baby and hold her, I started to feel that I wanted to raise the baby and not do adoption. I would return to my room and cry. I thought I wanted to be with my baby forever. But I looked at my life up to that point and didn’t have confidence that I could raise her well. Even so, I thought about trying, but then I put the baby’s happiness first. If her new parents would love her and raise her to be happy, that’s all I cared about. If my daughter enjoyed life then I would be happy.

7. Do you have any plans for the future?

Until now, I wasn’t thankful to anyone. I did bad things and didn’t care. I didn’t take responsibility for myself. But I didn’t realize it. But through experiencing the birth of my daughter, I was able to be thankful from my heart. I was also able to see my past for what it was. From now, I want to take responsibility for myself and become strong. I’ve only recently begun studying many things. My baby will day by day grow up. As her birth mother, I also want to grow up so that she would be proud.
I am thankful for all the blessings and trials I have been through. Whatever happens, I don’t want to give up or run away. I want to stand on my own two feet. My primary hope will always be the happiness of my baby.

1. When you realized you were pregnant what did you think?

At that time, I thought I couldn't get pregnant because when I was married, I tried but couldn't. So I thought, "Why now?" I was happy, but I was also worried. It was complicated.

2. Why did you call LHN?

After I broke up with my boyfriend, I wanted to have my baby and raise her, but I didn't have much savings, and most of all, I didn't have a place to live. My parents, good friends and acquaintances were all against my having the baby. I thought all I could do was give up. But then a friend who had wanted me to have an abortion looked on the internet and found LHN since she knew I wanted to give birth.

3. After calling LHN, what happened?

The counselor listened very kindly to me, encouraged me to give birth and told me about the possibility of living at LHN, so I felt saved. Afterwards, I came to LHN, and it was decided that I could definitely live at LHN, so I was relieved. I felt so happy that I would be a mother and was very thankful.

4. How was life at LHN?

After the first three days, I went to the hospital and was told that my baby wasn't growing and that I needed to be hospitalized. Until then, my other doctor had told me my baby was okay, so I was very worried. After two weeks, I had a C-section.

5. After having the baby, when you first saw her, how did you feel?

The day I had my baby, the doctor told me about my baby's condition. She had a bad heart caused by a DNA-related handicap. She could live for only 1 or 2 years. After I had had my baby and become a mother, it looked like I would only experience being a mother for a short time. I wondered if it all had meaning. I cried for a long time. If I could have given my life for her, I would have. When I met my baby, I could only say, "I'm sorry I couldn't give you a healthy body."

6. What about your daily life now?

After I got out of the hospital, I went to live at LHN. That was 3 months ago. My life here is fun. My baby is still in the hospital, so everyday I take breast milk and go see her. Even though I had been told my baby would live 1 to 2 years, when she was just 1 month old, I was told she would very soon go to heaven. If I were to think too much about it, I would only cry, so I am just doing all I can for her each day without thinking about the future. As her mother, I hope she will live through each day so I can giver her a lot of love. Even if it's only for a very short time, I would love for her to come home here with me. I will do anything I can for her. Even though many people were against my giving birth, I'm glad I did. I became a mother and know the joy of loving my child. If I hadn't given birth, I never would have experienced this. Even if she grows and lives to be 1 or 2 years old, she probably won't know that I'm her mother. But I want to be there to love her anyway. Her life may be short, but I'm thankful she was born to me.

This young woman came to live at LHN about 3.5 months before her baby was born. After the birth, she stayed another month and a half so she could prepare for her next step. We will miss her!

1. How did you find out about Life Hope Network?

When I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to do an adoption, so I went to the local government office. I asked the woman there what I should do, and she introduced me to LHN.

2. What was your impression of Life Hope Network?

When I called, I explained my situation. The counselor listened to me very kindly. I was able to quickly set up an appointment. So, I went to the office, talked to the counselors and felt I could trust them.

3. Why did you go to live at Life Hope Network?

I couldn't live at my family's home until the birth. So, I was looking for a place to stay. I thought it would a lot stricter, but when I heard the explanation, I realized I would have a lot of freedom and that I could handle living here.

4. What did you think after starting to live here?

At the beginning, since my lifestyle was to stay up all night and sleep until late in the day, it was difficult and took time to change. But a woman who had lived here previously came often to visit. Also, neighbors would come for dinner. So, I began enjoying my time here. Actually, since I'm someone who doesn't like to meet new people, I was worried, but I was able to naturally get used to it.

5. After having the baby, what did you think?

Until having the baby, I was in the hospital for three days. The birth took a long time and was difficult. Honestly, when I got pregnant, I thought about having an abortion, but because I was able to safely give birth to the baby, I was glad.

6. Why did you decide to give your baby up for adoption?

I didn't have the confidence to be a single mother. Also, I wanted the child to be happy. And Christian parents would love my child, I thought. So, I decided on adoption.

7. What is your future hope and dreams?

First, I want my baby to be happy. Second, I want to continue in the way of thinking and lifestyle I have learned and followed here. In the future, if I can, I want to get married and have children.

This 18 year old woman came to live at Life Hope Network after the birth of her baby on March 28, 2009. She has done a great job taking care of little "Jon."

1. When you found out you were pregnant, what did you think?

I was very happy. When I first had the feeling that I was pregnant, and my first reaction was happiness.

2. Why did you decide to have your baby?

The only decision I could even think about was having the baby.

3. What was your first impression of Life Hope Network?

When I first come to Life Hope Network, if possible, I didn't want to live there. From the beginning, I wanted my own apartment. When I was talking to Life Hope Network, all I could hear was "religion, religion, religion." But since I have come to live here, I have been having a good time.

4. Why did you decide to live here (do a homestay here)?

I didn't have any other place to live.

5. After you had your baby, what did you think?

After my baby was born, I thought this is a big turning point for me. He is very cute, and seeing him grow little by little makes me very happy.

6. What is your daily life like at Life Hope Network?

Before coming here, I couldn't imagine what it would be like. But it is very fun. I'm not a Christian, but I don't feel the religious talk is too heavy. Various people come here, and I enjoy talking with them. It's interesting.

7. In the future, what is your hope? What is your worry?

Honestly, I have a lot of worries and concerns about the future, but I don't get worked up about it because the people here listen to me. We talk together. So, I don't feel hopeless. Little Jon's daily growth and change is my hope. My next steps are to find an apartment, daycare and a job.

We at Life Hope Network are praying that they will have a great future.

On May 6th, through the help and support of many people, my baby was born. Now, I'm living with Cynthia (at Life Hope Network) and taking care of my baby. Since I found out I was pregnant, I have had many trials and blessings. So, I will tell you my story. When I first found out I was pregnant, I quickly thought I would get an abortion. At that time, my boyfriend said, "Your only choice is abortion." I was in high school and didn't want to quit. So when my father told me to have the baby, I thought it wasn't right for him to try to ruin my life. My father is a serious Christian, so we met with our pastor. When I was told again to have the baby, I couldn't accept it.

At that time, my pastor called ProLife Japan. Rev. Mizutani from ProLife Japan came to my house and said my only choice was to give birth, so I realized I couldn't get an abortion. Through Rev. Mizutani I heard about Life Hope Network. Since I couldn't continue to live in my house while I was pregnant, I went to live at Life Hope Network from February 18th. Through fellowship with Cynthia and Satoko my faith grew.

Especially by trying to make the decision between adoption and raising my baby, I came to understand God's love. My desire to raise my child grew, but my family was against it. Cynthia and Satoko prayed for me, and I prayed myself. But my family didn't change, and it was decided that I would give my baby up for adoption.

After my baby was born, I was able to spend time with her in the hospital. Of course, my desire to raise her grew. During this time, a friend from church said, "The birth of this baby definitely has meaning. Think about it." So, I thought that God sent his son Jesus to this world. This time right before my baby was to be taken from me was very hard, dark and sad.

Being separated from my baby wasn't going to be easy. But God sent his son into the world for us. He was crucified so our sins could be forgiven. I realized how much God cares for and loves us. Until this time, I had believed in God, but I hadn't been able to accept Jesus. But now, I could accept Jesus and be saved.

But that wasn't all. I also knew that God had heard my prayers. My father had been against my raising my baby. But after this time, he agreed to let me. If God had answered my prayer quickly, I wouldn't have understood God's love and been saved. So that he could save me, God waited until the perfect time to answer my prayer, according to his plan. I am thankful for his great love. He also sent many people to help me as part of his plan. I am very thankful to my family, my pastor and his family, Cynthia, Satoko, and the staff of Life Hope Network.

I lost many things through this experience. But I gained more than I lost. But these days, many small lives are being taken. Life is not our possession; it is a gift from God. I want many people to know this so that many lives can be born into this world. But I also want people to know that God heard my prayers.